Nisha Mordani’s Blog

If you are at a stage in life when you have finally accepted that your little ones are not so little anymore and have learnt to fly,this is definitely for you!

You are content to watch them with a smug smile on your face to show the world that your offspring is a testimony to a parenting job well -done.Just when you think you can sit back and relax,you are put to test once again…..you’re going to be a grandparent !!

Now…remember the feeling when your child was just born?This seems to be even more of a euphoria than that!You can’t stop smiling and talking about the “event” to all and sundry!You are on cloud nine!

Gran….before you get carried away,tarry awhile and ponder on these ground rules.

Your daughter/daughter-in-law is about to become a mother…she obviously is physically and mentally prepared for her role.So,hard though it is,could you just let her evolve?

Many mothers/mothers-in law get so involved in the parenting role,that they take it to extremes.There are some who are so conscious of privacy and non-interference and “personal space”that they wait ,self consciously,wondering what to do for their child in her new role.

There are yet others who plunge headlong into frenzied activity ,planning everything everyday,completely throwing everyone’s lives out of gear!

And then,mercifully,are some who know how to strike a balance.To stop short of interference..to step beyond indifference…to be there and ready…with a ready ear,a strong shoulder,a warm bosom and a girlish giggle to share “the new mom-to-be’s ” best phase.

It’s time to share the experience that you and your mother/mother-in-law once went through….to forget the “not-so pleasant”issues and relive the pleasant ones in your memory.

You are now parent to a parent!Wow!What joy!!!!  

What is life about???

The cycle begins with the embryo in the mother’s womb ….can we imagine that each one of us started as a fertilised egg?We were nurtured for approximately 9months and seven days inside our mother’s womb ….Mother Nature taking care of all our needs,including our physical and mental development!Marvellous,isn’t it?Every little physical feature is taken care of…the 10 little fingers and toes….the eyes,nose,ears,mouth,stomach,the genitals…the head full of hair…everything in the right place!!If this is not a sign of God’s miracle,then what is????And yet,how we take things for granted!!!The child comes wailing into the world, the umbilical cord is cut off, and the child experiences the first signs of independence.

The child grows day by day…..he learns to respond, learns how to get attention,gradually learns to roll over,sit up and by the end of the first year starts taking a step or two…and, maybe, uttering the much awaited words “papa”and “mama”!!! The joy of parents and near ones knows no bounds!!!!They miss no opportunity to show off to others how much their child knows…..they keep on exhibiting the child’s skills to all and sundry till the poor kid is all confused %#$@*#$&!!!!! (I really wonder what goes on in his little head!!)

Then,as the years roll on….children start teething ,they get diarrhea spells,fevers,measles, chest infections,colds,coughs and the hazaar little falls.Parents pull out the family health guides…and try to diagnose the disease before visiting their paediatrician!!(I always referred to Dr. Spock’s Baby book…..and I always came up with the rarest of diseases for my children!!!!Finally,my husband confiscated the book from me!!!  )Nowadays,browsing on the net does the job of the Family health guide volumes.

Parents’ world revolves around their little ones…..small and big sacrifices are made so that their child gets the best .Parents argue whether their child will grow up to be a doctor or an engineer …little realising that the child may have other plans for himself!!!Stress is laid on their studies….parents are seen loitering around in school at all hours.Money is put aside every month for the child’s future.Exam time is as stressful for the parents as it is for the child.Parents wait eagerly for the day when their child completes his schooling…..but do you think this is the end of their worry?NO WAY!!!!It is just the beginning!!!

After class ten starts the worry of “now what???”The running around for admission starts…at times,money changes hands and the child manages to get into a prestigious college…the rigmarole starts all over again….Science,Commerce or Arts ????After the two crucial years the child finally chooses his career….once again,the run for admission starts….and before one can say “Jack Robinson”the child is out of the parents’ clutches and into a college far away!!The parents are left on their own…..looking forward to the once a week phone calls to or from their children to pacify them that all is well!

Holiday time does not exceed more than a month.Parents wait eagerly for their darlings to come home.They pamper them ,cook all their favourite foods,take them to visit friends and relatives ….try to spend every waking hour with them….until the day of departure arrives.Once again the tearful goodbyes are said and each one goes his own way. Mom and Dad live in their little world…socialising now and then…having their little tiffs over trivial things, just for the sake of breaking the monotony of the daily routine.

Children,however,are ambitious…and why not….and want to further their career after college …..job offers lure them further away from home…..and the void looms larger than ever!!Holiday times get shorter….emails and online chats,more often,replace the phone calls.The gap widens….and parents as well as children compromise with the situation.

Time for wedding bells …children find their partners,and parents happily and willingly agree…they feel they are now dispensed with their responsibilities as parents!Ah haa…..hardly so The family is extended now…with the addition of sons-in law/daughters-in law…..more responsibility…..a twinge of jealousy….a feeling of being neglected….then finally coming to terms with the fact that children have a great sense of committment towards their respective spouses ….and wasn’t it the same with us when we first got married???Aaaaaaaah……realisation dawns like Buddha’s enlightenment….and all is well   

And so the wheel turns on and on…..parents grow old…..and children,too,get on in years. Now at the dusk of our lives,we parents look back and feel….yes…God has been good to us….though we have had our ups and downs,life has treated us fairly well. ….but is this what life is all about?What has been the purpose of our lives?Why are we here?What have we to offer to others??

Hmmmmmmmmmmm…..isn’t it a bit late for all these questions???Have we offered”TIME” to anyone?We do not need to have big talent to do that!There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship.You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself,because you are needed! There are orphanages….just go and hold an abandoned child against your bosom …believe me…..no amount of money or fame can give you that feeling of thanking God that you are alive and are needed!!! Don’t wait till you are 60 to do this….DO IT NOW!!!!

At the age of 56,I look out of the window everyday and I notice the change in the trees,how strong the wind is blowing.It’s as if I can see time actually passing through that window pane.Because I know my time is almost done.I am drawn to nature like I am seeing it for the first time.

Now I do what the Buddhists do.Everyday have a little bird on my shoulder and I ask “Is today the day?Am I ready?Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be”?I quite agree with Morrie of “Tuesdays With Morrie”…If you learn to die…you learn to live!!!!

Some “one-liners” that have always stayed with me:-

1.God has a plan for my life and that is all I need to know

2.Give me a fish and I shall eat for a day…teach me to fish and I shall eat for a lifetime.

3.Aim for the skies and you will surely reach the treetop.

4.Do good,be good.

5.I grumbled because I had no shoes,then I saw a man who had no feet.

6.Develop the habit of being happy.You have to do it,nobody else can do it.

7.See God in the person next to you.

8.How far to Heaven?Just open your eyes and look.You are in Heaven!!

9.Whatever you want for others,will happen to you.

10.There is a place for everybody in the heart of the Divine.

11.This is the cause of worry: “What about me?”

12.Prayer is “Thinking of God,Thanking Him and Loving Him”.

13. Yesterday is History,Tomorrow is mystery.Today is a gift,that is why it is called the “present”.

14.Life is a package of surprise gifts for you.

15.Common sense is anything but common.

16.Life is lived in the NOW!!!

17.You cannot move forward in life if you’re stuck looking in the rear view mirror.

18.A little fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses.

19.Giving begins the receiving process.

20.Life is a treasure and you are so much more than you know.

21.I am not on this earth by chance.I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain,not to shrink to a grain of sand.

22.Do your best and then let life do the rest.

23.The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

24.Walk towards your fears and then you’ll learn to fly.

25.Wise people remind themselves that everyday could be their last.

26.The simple pleasures of life are the most fulfilling.

27.If we don’t have conversations with ourselves how can we get to know ourselves?

28.What the caterpillar sees as the end of the world , the Master sees as the butterfly.

29.To eliminate hatred in the world we must first eliminate any hatred we carry within ourselves.

30.Every single day you wake up is a gift to be celebrated.

31.God couldn’t be everywhere,so he made MOTHERS !!!

32.If you want to make God laugh…tell Him your plans !!

33.Stop expecting and start accepting…..life becomes much simpler !!

1.The smell of fresh earth after a heavy shower of rain.

2.The pitter patter of rain,especially at night.

3. The fragrance of agarbattis …incense sticks.

4.Soft music and dim lights.

5. Short afternoon naps….the in- between stage between sleep and waking….power nap,as rajiv would say!

6.Knitting,especially for babies.

7.The smell of wax polish (for wooden floors).

8.Sipping the morning tea at leisure and in silence.

9.Going for long evening walks.

10. Admiring nature……..and never ceasing to wonder at it’s beauty.

11.Tending plants,especially indoor plants.

12.Cooking….trying out different recipes.

13.Family outings,gatherings,holidays.

14.Meditating….prefer guided meditation.

15.The sweet “Johnson smell” of babies.

16.Writing blogs…………this is the latest addition to the list!!!!

17.Reading.

18.Visiting the Beauty Parlour to get pampered.

19.Doing Yoga.

20.Eating hot jalebis.

21.Eating a couple of green chillies with my meals.

22. Listening to Ghazals…(Jagjit Singh)

23.Having roasted “butta” (maize) coated with fresh lime and chilli.

24.Teaching small children in school.

25.Perfumes..ooooh la la!!!!

26.Shopping (which woman will deny this??)

27.Clothes.

28.Footwear.

29.Window shopping.

30.Collecting pens…..have loads of them!!

31.Listening to the sound of birds in the early morning hours.

32.Jewellery….DIAMONDS….glitter,glitter!!!Not fond of wearing…but collecting them!!

33.Going for loooooong drives with hubby dear,on Sunday afternoons…sounds romantic…..but,alas…we hardly speak a word to each other!!!I guess,silence speaks louder than words;)

34. Eating Bhel puri,pani puri , sev puri, ragda patties….. from roadside vendors!!!

35.Watching movies in the movie hall.

36. Watching cartoons….especially Tom and Jerry.

37.Playing Housie….I NEVER win:(:(

38.The smell of pine leaves.

39.Listening to bhajans.

40.Sitting with my legs curled under me.

41.Fresh lime water…salty

42.Trying out different bath soaps/body wash.

43.Giving myself the gift of a body massage once a week.

44.”Baby talking “to my little granddaughter.

45.Feeling the breeze against my face.